The Road lies both ahead and behind

It is a great thing when everything just seems to get easier. As I went into these last weeks and full time teaching I was concerned that I would be overwhelmed by the extra. instead I found it quite the contrary. I think that having more of a rhythm to when I was teaching helped me to get faster and better about my planning which boosted my confidence, and ultimately made me a better teacher. I still have to work on classroom management and my piano playing as well as pacing but everything is getting easier the more I do it. I have gotten to my favorite part of teaching music, the part where I get to add in musicality instead of simply teaching notes. This helps with my attitude and the students' because we all love the way it sounds when the piece actually starts coming together. I can now easily pull warm ups out of thin air instead of planning them as well if I need to and I am learning to be more independent with my decisions. I was hesitant early on to do anything without permission because I still felt more like a student. Now I see that I can be more productive if I simply plan and ask questions only if I don't know how to do something. That way, even if I fail, it was my own plan that is being judged and not one I had help with. I can't wait to head off to my next placement where I have learned I will have more independence and a very new environment. I am also scared to death about my second placement however and I am still trying to wrap my head around what I will be getting myself into. Is this the same for anyone else?

This song is to wish all of you a great second placement through all the challenges and uncertainty.

How could I Keep from Singing?

My supervisor and I have been speaking throughout my time here about the best strategy for me to teach and I have found that we have not really been getting the real meaning behind what he had said until now. In teaching one should play to their strengths. I have now accepted the fact that I will never become a great piano player and that even with the amount I can play, it takes too much focus to be an effective teaching method. What I do have is my voice. I am going to spend the rest of my time at my placements working to perfect singing the parts for the students. I tried it out on the fly after my supervisor left and it felt great! It was by no means a perfect method but I did not have to worry about not being able to play all the notes correctly or not being able to play the piece up to tempo on piano. I could simply sing the part with them and tell instantly if they were dragging and when they were not singing the same pitch that I was. I feel re energized for teaching because of the last two hours today and I really hope that this feeling continues as I experiment with this new and hopefully easier method.

This song seemed fitting and I am teaching an arrangement of this piece to the Women's Chorale at my school as well.

Just say Yes!

I, as a thespian, have learned well the great rule of improvisation; always say yes. This goes for life I think as well and especially student teaching. I do not really have a structure to when I teach and when I do not. Roughly, I teach everyday but not every hour and sometimes not at all. Sometimes I do warm ups or my pieces or lately anything else that might be helpful. Whatever it is I am asked to do, I always say yes. I have been asked to work individually with OPUS Honor Choir auditionees, lead sectionals, etc. and it has been great. It has forced me to plan for the week and not the day because I never know when and what I might be doing. It has also helped me come to terms with the idea that I may not always get to do everything I wanted for that day and that is alright. There always a chance to go back and work something that did not get covered.

Much like Ryan Stiles in this video, I can always go back and redo what went wrong and Like Wayne Brady, I accept what is thrown my way.

Wake up and Pay Attention

Alright. I have given myself time to cool off so that this post would radiate possibility as opposed to negatively spiraling. This week, especially the first half of the week was less than stellar but it has been a learning experience. On Tuesday, I was told that my lesson was very "slow paced" which I felt as well and translates indefinitely into boring. I was not terribly concerned because I believed that it was only inexperience that had caused this. That is until Wednesday. On Wednesday morning my supervisor came to watch my lesson. I thought it went about the same as the day before but I never expected to change over night. My supervisor and I had a talk and he was even less impressed. He did not see all that much preparation or potential in my lesson and told me that it was time for a wake up call. We also talked with my CT and the assistant in the department. Although they were less critical, they did believe that I still needed a lot of work. I spent Wednesday contemplating whether I should even become a teacher. I really questioned if I was right for the profession or if I should leave student teaching and focus on performing instead. I then decided that I needed to focus my efforts and attempt to salvage my teaching career. I realized that I was preparing the way I did for conducting for teaching parts on a piece. That was ineffective so I altered my strategy and found that I made great improvements by the end of the week. My pacing was faster and my lessons more effective. The students really learned something and I rediscovered a better way to prepare. I am still not ready to teach on my own but I believe I am much closer to where I should be at this point in student teaching. It was an eye opening and terrifying experience but I feel better about not letting it crushing my spirit. I hope that I will never have to experience a conversation like that one again and I will do my best to make sure it is not for lack of effort if I do.

I think this song is about as perfect as they come for this week.

Revelations

It has certainly not been an easy week but when do those ever happen? I had my first teaching experience and it well so I guess I cannot complain. I was allowed to warm up the groups for the teachers before they got into the pieces. This was great experience and eye opening for my idea of what teaching should look and be like. An old problem resurfaced that has continued to haunt me since Methods when I discovered it. I suck energy out of a room. I do not know how and I certainly do not try to but I am deathly afraid of becoming one of those monotone teachers that every student dreads getting because all they want to do is fall asleep when they talk. I am sure it is not that bad but it is clear that the young, female, third year director of the women's choirs has 100 times the energy I do and her teaching style is more energetic as well. I am working on finding a way to engage the students with my teaching without changing my style to someone else's. My warm ups were observed by my supervisor on Thursday and things were interesting. I realized for the first just how personal criticism can feel. Everything is about what I did wrong and how I did not effectively teach the students. That starts to get to you and I was not as prepared for it as I thought. I usually take criticism well and simply adjust what I was doing wrong but it felt so different to hear it about my teaching. I had to give myself a few days to think things over before I could radiate my possibility. I realized that I do not explain what I do. I spent a good amount of time thinking about what I wanted to have the warm ups do for the students. However, it never occurred to me that the students should hear what I am trying to do as well. I now view warm ups as much more of a teachable moment because the students begin to know why we do them and can begin to understand what they need to work on to get better. This also applies to songs. I presented a piece this week to a group and I worked a bit more to tell them why I was doing certain parts. Doing this helped them remember things about the music they normally wouldn't have and brought them further along faster. The final thought this week was that I need to be able to adjust to the program I am working in because they most likely won't do the same for me. This program uses a style of teaching that I am not used to called Solfege. Although I have used it throughout my life and in college I have never used it for teaching and it is the whole basis for their program. I tried to teach a piece without using it and I found that the students could not understand it as well because they were so used to this other way. I believe I may have to subscribe to their process at least for now in order to find out if it is my teaching or the fact that they are only used to one method that makes my teaching less effective than my CTs.

There was not a song that fit my theme but this one fit the emotions of life pretty well.